When Shirley Birch travels abroad, she doesn’t want anyone to know she’s American.
“Usually it’s the Americans who are the loudest,” she complains. “They have no respect for the culture or language of the country I’m visiting. And waiters and store clerks are often rude if they don’t speak English.”
So, like many other well-traveled Americans, Balch keeps his distance from his fellow countrymen.
“You don’t have to deal with them,” said Balch, a retired IT professional from Clermont, Florida.
Balch avoids large groups of his compatriots, tries to blend in with the other guests and, when asked where he is from, hesitates to answer, preferring to change the subject. But some visitors go a step further.
Being culturally sensitive isn’t always easy
Travelers who disregard nationality are a longstanding tradition, a trend that has accelerated this summer with a divisive U.S. presidential election looming and the U.S. government making some unpopular foreign policy decisions. Americans are also often targets when they’re abroad.
But there’s something else driving it: American tourists themselves, who seem increasingly to have forgotten their manners.
“In the age of social media and Instagrammable travel experiences, people are increasingly prioritizing personal gratification and comfort over cultural immersion while traveling,” says Claire Law, a psychotherapist in Preston, UK, who studies travel behavior. “With that mindset, it’s perhaps not surprising that problematic behaviors are becoming more prevalent.”
Low says the root causes behind aggressive behavior are complex and culturally rooted. For example, assertiveness may be an important quality to Americans, but frowned upon in Asia. This doesn’t mean Americans are being rude; they’re just behaving normally rather than adapting to the culture of the country they’re visiting.
I travel 365 days a year, mostly outside the US, and I’ve recently seen other Americans behave in such a rude manner that it’s surprising to see them behave so politely. There are many aspects of American English that can be annoying, from the volume of their voices (loud) to the way they dress (logo t-shirts and sneakers) to phrases that seem polite but somehow sound hypocritical (like “please,” “thank you,” and “I really appreciate it”).
I love being American, but sometimes I hate being around Americans when I travel, and I’m not the only one.
How do tourists distance themselves from American tourists?
Here are some ways American travelers can maintain a polite distance from others in their group.
Change of clothes
If you don’t want to be mistaken for an American, you have to dress accordingly. “I believe in wearing a T-shirt, shorts, and jeans when traveling abroad,” says Gloria Howard, a former credit manager in Waterloo, Illinois. “I always make sure I’m well-groomed and dress appropriately for the place I’m going to.” Shirts with logos and backwards baseball caps are a no-no — all of these things will identify you as an American tourist.
No sneakers allowed
How can you spot an American abroad? “You can tell by their shoes,” says Thomas Plante, a psychology professor who studies visitor behavior. American guests like to wear designer sneakers, which are uncommon in other parts of the world. When Mr. Plante doesn’t want people to know he’s American, he changes his shoes; when he was in Hungary a few years ago, he even bought a pair of inexpensive casual shoes to look more like a local.
Please turn down the volume
Sure, Americans are a little louder than people in many other countries. But it doesn’t have to be that way. “Don’t talk too loudly, either to each other or on speakerphone,” says Barry Maher, a professional speaker based in Santa Barbara, California. “Just be a little more aware of your surroundings.” That way, you might notice that others aren’t yelling into their cell phones or at each other. Or, it might make it easier to tell that you’re an American visitor.
Be polite
Often, it’s just a matter of polishing your etiquette. “When I’m abroad, I see Americans who are loud, rude, and arrogant,” says Sergio Diaz, a talent agent who travels abroad frequently. “Many Americans act like they’re the center of the world,” he says. Diaz thinks this behavior gets worse in election years; when he sees a MAGA hat or T-shirt, he says he cringes because of the behavior it often provokes.
There’s another behavior that immediately identifies American tourists: tipping, even when it’s not the local custom. And tips are usually given openly, with the bill handed to the bellboy or waiter for the whole world to see. Some people find this open payment uncomfortable.
Should I deny that I am an American?
It is not surprising, then, that some visitors distance themselves from other Americans by denying their nationality.
Ross Copas, a retired electrician from Tweed, Canada, was traveling in Europe with some American friends when a restaurant waiter asked him where he was from.
“Ontario, Canada,” Copas said, but the American remained silent.
Copas laughed heartily, and his goodwill benefited his fellow travelers, as Canadian tourists have a reputation for being more polite and a bit quieter than Americans.
I asked Copass how he felt about Americans wearing Canadian flag pins giving people the impression they are Canadian when they are not. He said he had mixed feelings about it.
“As long as I’m playing the role, I think I’ll be OK,” he says.
Why you should keep your citizenship a secret this summer
Has it gotten so bad that you have to dress modestly, keep your mouth shut, and lie about your nationality?
Look around you. It’s not hard to find anti-American sentiment when you’re abroad. It’s probably not your fault. If you’re reading this article, you’re probably not in charge of setting U.S. foreign policy. But people still see you as an ambassador for their country. If you don’t want to be a target of anti-American sentiment, you need to blend in.
“It’s always best to keep a low profile when traveling internationally,” says Bob Batchelor, who runs a medical transport service and travels internationally frequently.
In other words, you can ditch the sneakers and hoodie, turn down the volume, be respectful and still be proud of your nationality. I do.
